The Gray Area

Today I’ve been working on a class for Sunday titled “Building A Lasting Youth & Family Ministry” that I’ve been asked to teach at one of the area congregations. I’ve been so blessed by this study. One of the awesome things about teaching is the things that you are reminded of when studying God’s word. 

So how do you build a lasting youth & family ministry? For my lesson Sunday, I’ll be presenting the Biblical model of Youth & Family Ministry (YFM) found in Titus 2:1-8, as well as giving 12 tips to make the ministry last.

But there’s one thing I’ve been reminded of over and over again. It’s easy to get distracted in youth ministry. Especially when you think 3-6 months (even a year) down the road, you can get distracted. Let me explain. As a youth minister, you are constantly thinking about what’s coming up or needs to be planned for the future. In November & December, I’m thinking about the summer. During January through March, I’m thinking about the fall. Not only activities and schedules, but curriculums, studies & topics that need to be addressed. The trick is juggling all that with the stuff on the immediate calendar.

So how can we get distracted in youth ministry? Because in thinking so far ahead, or constantly thinking about what’s coming up, we can forget the “why” of what we planned. Every class, devo & activity should have a purpose. If you’ve read Purpose-Driven Church and/or Purpose-Driven Youth Ministry, you know the five purposes of the church (evangelism, worship, fellowship, discipleship & service). And all of our activities, classes & devotionals should address at least one of those purposes. 

But here’s where we can get distracted. We can forget the one mission Christ gave us. He had several missions, but one is expressly given to the church. It’s found in Matthew 28:18-20. That mission is to make disciples. 

We can get distracted in youth ministry (as well as the church) by planning activities just for people to fellowship, or to reach out to unbelievers, or even just to worship. But the underlying principle and goal ought to be to make disciples. That’s the mission Jesus gave us. That’s what we should be trying to fulfill. 

So when you’re bowling with kids, make disciples. When you’re raking leaves, make disciples. When you’re playing sardines, make disciples. When you’re pouring your heart out in worship, make disciples. When you’re riding 10 hours to your mission trip location, make disciples. When you make the 2am Waffle House run on said mission trip, make disciples. When you’re going down the Ocoee River, make disciples. When you’re riding the roller coaster, make disciples. When you’re staying up way too late hanging out with kids at camp, make disciples. 

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter where you’re going. It doesn’t matter who’s with you. Make disciples.

Whether it’s your most committed teens, your kinda-committed teens, your on-the-fringe teens, or your almost-gone teens, make disciples. 

Every word you say. Every high five you give. Every text you send. Every event you attend. Make disciples. 

Whether your group is 500 or 5, 100 or 1, make disciples. 

Whether you’re teaching on baptism, sex, or Leviticus, make disciples. 

This is the purpose of Youth & Family Ministry. This is the purpose of the church.

It’s what Jesus did. It’s what he called us to do.

Make disciples. 

Spring Break + the beach = a youth minister’s nightmare. 

Why do teens get caught up in alcohol, peer pressure & sexual temptation? Why do teens post inappropriate pictures of themselves in inappropriate attire?

Let me ask this. Why do adults get caught up in alcohol, peer pressure & sexual temptation? Why do adults post inappropriate pictures of themselves in inappropriate attire?

(If you’re wondering what I mean by inappropriate attire, you must not be on Facebook these days)

Behavior is a reflection. Wrong or bad behavior is usually a smoke signal (or sometimes a forrest fire) of a deeper problem.

So instead of just focusing on behavior, let’s look deeper. Let’s uncover the real problems. Let’s ask the tough questions.

What pain are you trying to cover up with that alcohol?

What person hurt you so much that you need to find affirmation in someone who only wants physical satisfaction?

Why do you only seek physical satisfaction?

Why are you looking for happiness in a bottle…a pill…a person?

For years, “Christians” have only focused on behavior. We’ve judged. We’ve showed total disappointment. We’ve turned up our noses. We’ve acted like we didn’t understand. 

We forgot that their behavior is a voice crying out for help. Their decisions are a reflection of their pain, their disappointment, their misunderstanding. 

So before we judge, let’s remember a few things.

Life will beat you down. And when you’re down, the devil will keep kicking you to keep you down. The devil recognizes prime opportunities for temptations. And he comes with a full arsenal. Guns blazing. 

But we serve a God whose grace is greater than our sin. We serve a God of second changes…third chances…and fourth chances. We have a Father who shows compassion & forgiveness. 

It’s the devil who wants us to judge. It’s the devil who wants us to push them away. It’s the devil who wants us to show “tough love”. 

But God says restore gently (Galatians 6:1). God says bear their burdens. God says be present. 

So let’s take a stand against what’s wrong. But let’s make sure it’s a compassionate stand. 

People make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. 

I’ve been there. Have you?

So lets not be guilty of throwing the stones (John 8:7).

Let’s be the ones who help mend the wounds.

Tonight it was reported that a tornado damaged the Greater Regional Medical Center in Creston, Iowa. As of writing this, I have not seen if there were any fatalities, but I can only imagine there were several injuries. I find it so ironic that people were injured at a place that was supposed to provide healing. I know this was not something the hospital could control. And they are in no way at fault. In fact, I’m sure they did everything they could to keep their patients as safe as possible. But sometimes places that are supposed to provide healing and protection, don’t. And places where you should get better, can sometimes make you worse.

Someone once said that the church is a hospital for sinners. And that statement is, and should always be, true. However, sometimes the place that is supposed to provide spiritual healing can sometimes inflict pain. Let me explain what I mean. I’m not talking about worship. I’m talking about relationships. I’m talking about when God’s people don’t act like God’s people. I’m talking about when we forget to show the love of Christ, even towards one another. That’s when the hospital for sinners does more harm than good. That’s when the place that is supposed to provide protection actually injures. 

When we say hurtful things or say things in hurtful ways…

When we intentionally or accidentally overlook or leave someone out…

When we are overly critical or continually negative…

When we hold others to a standard that we can’t live up to…

When we neglect to show the grace of God…

When we act judgmental…

When we make mistakes but don’t admit/own up to them…

On and on the list could go.

God’s people aren’t perfect. But God’s people should be transparent. 

So let’s work hard to make sure the church always remains a hospital for sinners. When we cause some damage, inflict some pain, and neglect to protect, let’s be transparent. And let’s ask the only Great Physician to heal what/who ever we’ve hurt.

Because, just in case we forget, you and I are patients there too.